the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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