Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize