I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
