I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
