PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
