we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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