I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
