Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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