Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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