He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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