I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
