shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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