And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
