so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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