I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
