I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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