did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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