I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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