i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
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