sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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