she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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