i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He felt like a one man threesome
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
