I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My dick has a subreddit
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
