i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
