Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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