Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
