She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
