Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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