How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
