no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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