A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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