I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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