at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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