hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
