I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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