Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
