Someone shit on the floor
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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