I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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