What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
