the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
