we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize