some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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