Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize