i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
