you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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