Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
