weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sex in a hospital.. check
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
