Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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