mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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