I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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