Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He shit in the fireplace
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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