So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
