Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
