did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
