This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My feet surprised me
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