I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
