Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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