Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
