She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
