Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
