the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My liver just had a heart attack.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
