He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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